Congratulations on doing something right!

It’s so rare these days when people do something right, i.e. the way they’re supposed to.

Take Michelle Wie for example. The next tournament she enters she will have earned her way in. See, she got her tour card the way everyone else is supposed to if they want to play in tournaments. No more skating by on sponsor’s exemptions (see: John Daly) or on the publicity potential that comes with being a woman playing in a men’s tournament.

No, Michelle Wie has done something truly amazing – dodged the shortcuts and chose the road most traveled. In honor of this, I would like to take a minute and acknowledge a few other people:

My dad, for not beating me growing up.

The bagger at Acme #1 for not shoving my eggs into an already crowded bag.

The McDonald’s worker for not filling my coffee with cream and sugar after I requested it black.

Myself, for not letting the garbage pile up and taking it out on the morning it’s supposed to be picked up.

The bank attendant, for not giving me any large bills after I asked for nothing over a $20.

See how nice it is when you do things the way you’re supposed to? Now, if someone could send this blog to one or all of the big three so they are motivated to not waste the $15B almost certain to come their way in the next few weeks.

Photo source: ESPN.com/Scott A. Miller/US Presswire

Anyone else uncomfortable with this picture?

I don’t know the full story here, but this picture accompanied MSNBC.com’s coverage of the automotive buyout. I get the relevance, but still, am a little uncomfortable with objects being placed on the stage during a prayer/worship service.

Source: MSNBC.com/AP

Good samaritans abound

With the state of the economy coinciding with the end of the year, there is a heightened amount of attention being paid to the bottom line and the impact overhead and employees have on it.

I have read a lot of articles and overheard a lot of comments about how any cuts will be a result of ones that already need to be made – you know, give them a chance to ‘trim the fat’. 

This has really caused me to think – why do we wait until we have to to trim the fat? Deep down are we good people that believe in employing the underqualified that are a drag on the company’s resources and contribute very little to accomplishing its objectives?

Or are we scared of the conflict that comes with correcting someone, or worse yet, firing them?

I really don’t understand this. All you hear in business is operating with lean efficiency, reducing cost, eliminating resources that drag on the bottom line, yet, we look at situations where people are directly preventing any of that and decide to do nothing.

Some people might say ‘hey, let them earn their living and you earn yours’. My problem isn’t with the person doing nothing, it’s with the person that allows them to do nothing. Why do they allow this is what I’m really trying to discover.

I guess one of the major reasons this troubles me is because I feel we as a society have accepted ‘waste’ in any form, even in human resources, then, when we’re at a breaking point, cry foul and wonder why we are in the position we’re in. The mentality of ‘this person isn’t contributing, but the amount we pay them is worth avoiding uncomfortable situations’ is one that scares me. In what other ways are we throwing money and resources away? And why, in times of trouble, is it the person who decides to be wasteful is left untouched?

Maybe we should add a ‘recession economics’ class to business schools that teach students how to manage companies/departments as if they were in a time of crisis. Or maybe we messed things up so much that we don’t have to worry about managing any other way.

Take heed.

If you’re in marketing, you better read this.

I’m writing this to warn you of a slowly building plot to deprive you of making a living. The movement is being led by the Boston-based Campaign for a Commercial-free Childhood, which claims to have 1,400 parents who have contacted 24 toy manufacturers regarding ads they feel unfairly target their kids. The parents are concerned because they ‘just won’t be able to afford all the gifts their kids want’ during these hard economic times.

I’m serious. See for yourself

Do people really have nothing better to do than complain about commercials? Hey parents, turn the TV off. Tell your kids they can’t have everything they want. Maybe if you spent time teaching children about life than blaming others you wouldn’t have to worry about how they feel – they would have some grip on life and know that mommy and daddy can only buy  you a few presents this year.

Parents’ ignorance is just the secondary point here, in my mind. The main point I’d like to address is who do these people think they are that they can just decide to randomly attack an industry, especially in an economic downturn when people are trying to hold on to every piece of business they can? To the 1,400 parents who decided it was their responsibility to act as the moral police on behalf the world - have you thought of the marketing people whose jobs you might be affecting? Or people who work at TV networks who rely on ad revenue or comission?

What right do you have to determine if someone should make a living? This has to be the most careless act of selfishness I’ve seen, mainly because you gain nothing from it. What, your kids see less commercials so they’ll be less likely to ask for toys? Do you plan on depriving them of radio, books, magazines or just simple trips to the store? Are you going to keep them home from school so they don’t see any of their friends’ toys and want them? Or prohibit them from going over their friends house?

What’s wrong with you people? Can’t you find something better to do with your time? How about donating some of it to a shelter? Regardless of what you do with it, don’t dedicate another minute of it to potentially depriving someone of making a living so you can feel better about yourself. You don’t see me lobbying Congress about dangers of fast food and endangering your job.

Ann the Man and her broken jaw

If you needed something to be thankful for in this economic mess, look no further than one broken jaw as in the newly wired shut jaw of Ann Coulter.

A nasty fall did what left wing liberals have been trying to do for years – shut her up.

 In related news, it is rare that you see someone inspire so many people to be the best they can be, do more, go farther – and it’s even more rare that you see the people come together and offer one big unified thank you. I am of course talking about the group known as ‘Our Country Deserves Better’ PAC and their launch of the Sarah Palin thank you video. They do know the election is over? It’s appropriate that we just remembered the 30th anniversary of Jonestown because if you look at these people, you can see how nearly 1,000 people drank poisonous Kool-Aid. Palintown anyone?

Personally, I’m thankful for this Palin clip. Remember, you are what you eat.

Forget the recession; play ball instead!

Capitalism is not dead. Just look at baseball. The recently bailed out CitiGroup paid $400M to put its name on the new Shea Stadium in New York. Some players will make more than anyone at their position ever has.

One of those players is C.C. Sabbathia. In a recent Buster Olney column, he made an attempt to draw a weak line between C.C. Sabbathia signing with New York and LeBron potentially jumping there in 2010 due to their friendship. In doing so he cited a conversation with the pitcher in which he was left with a few significant impressions. One was the complete asinine statement that “C.C. is very aware that he’ll never be able to spend the money he receives in his next deal”.

You might think I’m offended at how C.C. could make such a careless statement at a difficult time. Or how it’s terrible for baseball to throw this type of money around when we are in economic dire straits. Well, I do have an issue with this comment – but maybe not how you’re thinking. I have no issues with C.C. making this money (outside of the ridiculuous fact that professional players make this much). However, I do have an issue with his apparently being embarassed by it. You are the type of person that characters in Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged hate – one who apologizes for his money and his ability to make it.

Afterall, if fans are dumb enough to continue to pay for tickets, gear, etc., then players should never feel bad about being able to spend all their money. They should take every cent they can get – that’s what this country is founded on – the ability to set up a business or brand (themselves in this case) and make a profit off their intended audience. Well, I would say they’re succeeding. And in some cases they’re doing it despite the fact they’re producing a subpar product. Just look at the people who pay for Browns tickets.

So, don’t believe the recession fears. Instead, go buy jerseys, gloves,  hats, shirts and tickets. We’re already bailing out the banks; soon we’ll be paying for the automotive industry – why not foot the bill for professional sports while we’re at it.

Breaking News: John Lennon Absolved

In a move to show it’s in-tune with what’s going on today and ‘hip’ to what the kids are listening to, the Catholic Church has forgiven John Lennon for his 1966 remark that the Beatles are more popular than Jesus.

In unrelated news they have also declared the world is round, dinasours are extinct and tomatoes a fruit.

I’d drape myself in velvet…but Joe the Plumber beat me to it

Going through withdrawls caused by the end of the election? Missing Palin? Wondering how a party backed by Joe the Plumber could have lost to ‘that one’? Well, I have found the perfect ail to your illness – and the conversation piece for your holiday parties. I give you, Joe the Plumber – Tijuana style:

Five observations on the 2008 election

No political parties were injured while writing this blog. Signed, your friendly neighborhood Independent.

When I was working my way through college, I had a job at a lumberyard/do-it-yourself store. I was hired by a friend whose management style was to let us do what we want as long as our stuff got done. We were extremely productive (and efficient) and never had so much fun. However a few months after accepted a promotion at another store. Taking his place was militant, keys on a chain short guy with a bad case of the Napoleons who tried to micromanage everyone to the point where we worked harder avoiding him and work than actually getting things done. Then one day, something amazing happened – my friend was back as the head manager of my store. And the guy who took his place was demoted to night manager. It was like our own little era of good feelings. We didn’t have a care in the world; life was good again.

I tell you that story because I felt that way again, on November 5, the day after Obama was elected. And this is where we start my list of top five observations of the 2008 election.

5. As long as your last name isn’t Bush…. I’m serious. The day after the election everyone was walking around like a college freshman whose girlfriend finally got her period. Nothing could ruin the day. Even people who voted for McCain admitted to feeling some happiness, some change. Me? I attribute it to the fact that the President’s name is no longer Bush.

4. Hypocrisy Rules. I don’t recall ever having seen more blatant, unapologetic hypocrisy then I have in the past month. From the simple (McCain ripping Obama for his pork belly spending when his running mate is the governor of the state with the highest pork belly spending) to the sad (James Dobson’s Focus on the Family organization releasing a ‘Letter from a Christian in 2012′ claiming Obama had torn America apart. Uhhh….wasn’t that the basis of McCain’s whole campaign? I.E. ‘real’ v. ‘fake’ America) to the innaccurate (Palin claiming she is a federalist – but is in favor of anything that enforces abortion on a National level) to the infuriating (Obama is a Muslim/African/Black guy/insert offensive word here yet promoting Piyush “Bobby” Jindal as the future face of the GOP – so, let me get this straight, democratic minorities bad, republican minorities good?).

3. Rachel Maddow has arrived. Oh Rachel Maddow. Has anyone ever risen through the ranks faster than you? I didn’t want to like you. I was fine with my hour of Hardball and hour of Olberman. However, I slowly started to get hooked on your biting and funny (sometimes more so than your lead-in) commentary. Then you landed an interview with Barry himself. And finally, you locked me up with your Twitter presence. Your future is bright and I look forward to watching you be ‘talked down’ for years to come.

2. SNL’s writers are terrible. Don’t get me wrong; I loved the show and political impressions. It was can’t miss for me. But the material (literally) wrote itself every week. Where was the imagination I used to see with the SNL of the 90s? Seeing Perot drive Stockdale into the wilderness? Bill Clinton stopping off at a McDonalds during a campaign visit? Bill and Hillary on C.O.P.S for domestic disturbance? The acting was great and it was enertaining but you guys left a lot on the table. (But thank you for the genius of Seth Meyers for writing the ‘Palin Rap’.)

1. America is alive and well. I know that sounds as crazy as McCain’s ‘the fundamentals are strong’ comment. But what I realized this election – what I thought had passed – is that America still cares about those things that make us great. Like freedom of speech, the democratic process and passion to a cause or party (of which I wish there was more of). Even when I disagreed with someone I was thankful for the chance to discuss it. I didn’t cry or get emotional during Obama’s acceptance speech – I don’t feel I have earned it – but I did get a tingle when I walked up to my polling place at 6:30 a.m. and saw a line out the door, a line consisting of blacks, white, old, young, men, women – all standing in line to cast a vote for something they believe in. Love it or hate it, that’s what makes us unique. And it was great to see.

I’m suspending my blog to focus on the financial crisis

My friends, I need to focus on the worst financial crisis of our time, so I’m flying immediately to Washington the day after next to see how much I can mess things up.

Before I go though, I want you to know that I’m holding a pen. It’s old and dry, like me, but it will work enough for me to tell you their names and make them famous. Who? My vpilf herself, Sarah Palin, whose state is first in pork barrel spending. Ridiculous considering my state is last – kind of makes you why I picked her. Oh, that’s right, I didn’t – Karl Rove and Dick Cheney did. Fortunately for them (sorry for you) I battle a reoccurence of skin cancer, the deadliest form that has a life expectancy rate of 2 – 4 years should it return, daily and could potentially be leaving the country in their hands, I mean her hands. Yikes!

Seriously, the potential of John McCain becoming president scares the bejeebers out of me. Why?

1. His shoot first, ask later mentality demonstrated by his desire to rewrite the rules anytime he is down (picking Palin, suspending his campaign)

2. His continuance of the ‘fear’ factor that has been used for eight years to control us

3. His admitting that he would suspend all spending except military, veteran support and other programs, whatever that means; so, if you’re a teacher, in public service or on welfare, well – sorry

4. His refusal to talk about my class – and 95 percent of the the country – when discussing who will be dinged by the economic rebuilding

5. An apparent belief that $5k is an ample amount for healthcare – scary considering the average newborn is a  sweet $15k bundle of joy – who is this guy, rain man?

6. His selection of Sarah Palin, period. That should be enough for anyone not to vote for him – if he goes, she’s in. My God.

This is being written by a 32-year old near lifetime republican. I stayed up late to watch the 84 election results (I was 8). I wore Bush/Quayle buttons and tshirts in junior high – before I could vote. I made my government teacher take me to the town hall the day of my 18th birthday so I could be registered in time to vote straight ticket. I picketed abortion clinics with the republican church-going faithful. I got into a huge fight with my first girlfriend because she went to the RNC in 96 without me. I voted for Pat Buchanan in the 96 primary. I fought the entire staff of my college newspaper – including the editor – because we didn’t need four more years of a democrat. I played golf with republican-branded golfballs. I…….I was an idiot.

But now I can make up for it. I’m sick of being scared into letting the government act in our best interest. I’m tired of Wall Street getting the benefit of the doubt and paid to go away. I’m ready to stop reading about all the lives of National Guardsmen who have been ruined or put on hold because they haven’t been back to their jobs for four or five years. I’m terrified of what the world will be like for my kids when the rest of the world hates us. I have nightmares about 45 new nuclear powerplants in the next 20 years – before the appropriate equipment exists to process waste and reusable material.

I’m not telling you how to vote – I would never do that. Because if I was, we’d all be campaigning for Ron Paul. However, we can’t look at it that way. It’s not a question of who is better; it’s a question of who’s worse. Have we come to that? Yes, unfortunately – but only for now, I hope. Be careful. Read up. And think long and hard before punching your chad. I have been. And I don’t like what I’m finding.