One for the parents

I have been spending a lot of time on Twitter. I mean A LOT of time. I’m making so many new connections and establishing new sources for information; if you haven’t checked it out yet, you really should. The only downside is that it’s taking away from my blogging. So, I come back to you now with a post aimed at the parents.

Over break, and with the winter weather going crazy, I have had a lot of time to hang out indoors with the kid. We’ve played quite a bit, but we’ve also watched a healthy amount of TV. I have to admit, I’m a bit of a TV junky myself, so I actually watch whatever she’s watching, just because it’s on. And after watching more than normal, and having some time to form opinions, I have to ask – what the hell are we letting our kids watch?

Seriously, some of the stuff on Noggin is messed up! Let’s go through a normal viewing day, hitting a few of the shows you fellow parents might know something about:

Max and Ruby. What have these two rabbits done with their parents? It’s like a kids version of ‘Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitters Dead’ except with parents. The mom and dad are never around, leaving Ruby to watch hell on wheels Max, who repeats one word over and over. And the grandma and all other adults act like this is normal – it’s more like a Lifetime movie than a kids show. And what’s with Ruby’s annoying voice? I heard they brought in another actor to do the voice because the original was so bad.

Yo Gabba Gabba. What stoned out drop outs got together and put this together? I think this is Sesame Street for the next generation. I tried to watch it and ended up sitting in the corner having a conversation with the cat. Every two seconds it’s some burst of color or wacked out image of a kid running/dancing across the screen. One day you have Biz Markie dropping some beepbox; the next you have a big green blog with a unibrow singing about a party in his tummy. I can only take so much of this one. For fun, turn off the sound and listen to Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon.

Franklin. This one isn’t weird as much as it is annoying. Don’t you wish someone, like Bear, would just throw a sharp elbow to Franklin’s face when he starts whining? The kid is always pissed about some injustice that he’s had to endure, like his grandma making cookies for the neighbor kid instead of him, or not getting a part in the play. And just when you think he’s terrible enough, along comes Beaver, with her big bossy mouth. And we all know someone like Beaver, so you’re sitting there getting pissed because you’re thinking ‘she is just like so-and-so’.

Little Bear. I don’t have any complaints about this one. Well, Little Bear is a bit pretentious and acts like he owns everyone in the woods. And his relationship with Emily is a bit disturbing, but other than that I find this one to be relaxing. Or maybe it’s Maurice Sendak’s illustrations that just have a calming effect. Either way I don’t mind it.

Upside Down Show. Another one I don’t mind, except that Noggin pulled back on its air time. I think that has something to do with the limited number of episodes, which really seems to be a problem with a lot of these shows.

Lazy Town. Now we’re back to one I can’t stand. This show is pretty much good for nothing. I’m all for the puppets/people mix, but in this case, I’m left feeling a little freaked out. Maybe it’s the puppetry or the extreme facial expressions by Jim Carrey wannabe Robbie Rotten, but this is one I could do without. And, again, a victim of only six episodes (or at least feels like six).

Backyardigans/Wonder Pets. I put these two together because they always seem to be back-to-back. I don’t have major issues with them except that I would have to beg for new episodes, in both cases. If I have to watch ‘Race Around the World’ and hear the line ‘it’s not sausage making day’ one more time, I’m taking all five of The Backyardigans out. Same with Wonder Pets – enough with dog that has to pee; the song weirds me out a little, not to mention that a turtle, duckling and hamster fly to save him, in a (fly)boat made of tinker toys. Side note burning question – is Linny a girl or boy? My wife have had major debates on this.

Jack’s Big Music Show. Skip. We flip over to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, which, really, what can you say bad about Mickey Mouse?

Wow Wow Wubzy. I love this one. It’s kind of like a video game on crack that steals every other cartoon ever made, but I like it. My wife hates Widget because she sounds like Reba MacIntyre (and she can’t stand Reba MacIntyre) so she sometimes changes it.

Maggie and Ferocious Beast. I like this one; how can you not that has a large imaginary beast saying ‘goggley moggley’ all the time?

Oswald. Another one I like, not just because of Fred Savage voicing Oswald. Ok, maybe that’s the only reason. But I do like that Henry the Penguin is voiced by the guy who played Squiggy on Laverne and Shirley. And for a bonus for parents, when Henry’s cousin came to visit they got Lenny to voice him.

Imagination Movers. Yes, I know this is Disney, but it is becoming a favorite, thanks to the imagination based storylines and the fact that it’s just people having fun and solving problems. Plus the singing gets the kids off the couch and dancing around. And having Nina stop by every now and then doesn’t hurt, if you know what I mean dads.

Caillou. This bald kid has to be the second whiniest kid on TV, right behind Franklin. And his parents are another story. We watched an episode the other day where the mommy had to clean off the car and try and start it herself, but she couldn’t get out of the driveway. Where was the dad? And how did he get ouf of the driveway? Way to be there for your family. Caillou is trying too hard to be this generation’s Charlie Brown.

Contrary to how it sounds, we don’t watch a lot of TV; but Noggin lends itself to being on in the background while playing, thanks to the zero commercials. And speaking of Noggin, don’t get me started on that son of a bitch Moose A. Moose and his lackey, Zee…….

We’re not mailmen, for God’s sake

I braved the madness that was the blizzard of 09 – until Fox 8 labels the next minor snow storm the ‘Official Blizzard of 09′ – and ventured to downtown on Saturday to see ‘Rent’ featuring the original Mark (Anthony Rapp) and Roger (Adam Pascal). I’m glad I did; I have seen Rent before, but not with a cast as stellar as this. (Side note: thanks to the city of Cleveland for not plowing one bloody street. It looked like a parking lot.)

On my way to catch 77, I passed a mailman stuck in a huge snow bank, shoveling his way out so he could get in and drive three feet to the next nearly buried mailbox and deliver what I’m sure was a compelling handful of bills, Gold Clippers and direct mail cards (do people still do those?).

I asked myself why he would do this – why he would want to do this? Then I realized it’s because that’s his job. Save the ‘rain, sleet, snow’ jokes; they just have to do that. They have to deliver the mail. As Newman said, ‘the mail; it never stops!’. Every day they have to do the same thing – every day. Over and over. It conjured up memories of the famous Dunkin Donuts commercial.

It was at that moment that I realized something very important – thank God I’m not a mailman. Could you imagine? Doing the same thing every day? We’re in marketing people. We better not be doing the same thing every day. And if you are you need to take a look at your drive, your passion, for what your client does and more importantly what you do.

The world doesn’t let us do the same thing over and over. There’s always breaking news. A better way to communicate something. More and more clutter that needs to be researched and experimented with. More people to talk to; less people doing more jobs to talk with – that need your help. We work in a great field, this ‘marketing’ that we’ve chosen. Make it count. Do something new. Do something different. Don’t accept normalcy – on the first try anyway. Push yourself and your client. Make yourself do something different from the previous day. Every day.

After all, we’re not mailmen. I mean, mailpersons. Sorry. I forgot The Burger tests very well with female postal workers, 34 – 45. Shout out!

Take a penny, leave a penny

I found myself thinking about the penny tray today. It’s really an underrated gift that retailers put out for you to make life a little easier. I mean, who wants to carry around all that extra change, making all that noise in your pocket/purse. And then you run the risk of losing it because there’s so much to worry about.

Then there are those times when you need the penny because without it you dont’ have enough. And you know that the jaded cashier isn’t going to let you skate by, so you have to leave the line and put your Vitamin Water back. Then - THEN - you really appreciate that little tray of beautiful copper.

I don’t know why, but it kind of made me think how people view public relations. You don’t realize how much you need it until it’s not there. Expecially when you have a lot of issues making noise in your pocket, like failed product launches, poor channel marketing or (lack of) employee communications. Then there are those times when you need the PR penny to pay your total bill, like crisis situations, mergers and acquisitions, recalls and labor disputes.

Maybe I thought about this because many of us are preparing to face a challenging year. We have to be focused more than ever. We have to understand our value – know exactly where we fit within our clients’ organization. And more importantly, we have to do everything we can to reinforce why our relationship brings value to what they are trying to accomplish as they face their own crisis.

So take heed as you prepare for 2009. You wouldn’t want your client to come up a penny short in the lunch line.

It’s finally here. My top 5 beers of 2008.

I spent 2008 drinking a lot of lousy beers. But it wasn’t my fault.

Candis and I shared the responsibility of bringing home the coveted puffy vest that comes with completing The Winking Lizard’s beer tour. We got a late start (February 29) but finished last Tuesday – with roughly 36 hours to spare.

We weren’t that smart and saved all the bad beers for the end. Nonetheless, we finished. And I can say, that after 100 beers, my favorites are safe. Not one came close to even cracking the top five. Too many fruity, yeasty, crazy beers. That might be part of the reason why you are able to choose your beers this year (from a list of 150).

It did impact my top five list though. It got me thinking – here I am trying all these beers and I’m denying myself the ones I like the best. So, without further ado, here is my tribute to the old faithful brews that will always hold a place in my heart – and my list.

1. Fat Tire. (New Belgium) [previously: no. 1] No change here. Still the best tasting, smoothest beer I’ve ever had. Now, if I could just get them to ship that stuff east of Chicago, I’d be happy.

2. Yuengling Lager. (Yuengling) [previously: no.3] Despite a strong late-season surge from his brother, Black and Tan, I have to keep the Lager here, sound and secure at number two.

3. Christmas Ale. (Great Lakes Brewing Company) [previously: no.4] Despite a weaker than normal showing this Christmas, I find myself appreciating this beer more and more every year.

4. Oktoberfest. (Samuel Adams) [previously: no.2] Dropping a tad because of the great showing Great Lakes Oktoberfest had this year. And I’m starting to look forward to Samuel Adams Winter Lager a little more. Not sure if it’ll hold on next year.

5. New Castle Brown. (New Castle) [previously: unranked] Oh my this was hard. There are so many beers right there at number five – not to mention the one it bumped – Honker’s Ale (Goose Island). However, like I said in the beginning, I had an appreciation for those beers I just plain like. And I find myself defaulting to New Castle more and more.

Now, like I said, the final spot was hard. So hard that I have to mention the cluster that is 5.1, 5.2, 5.3, 5.4, etc., etc.: Honker’s Ale, Samuel Adams Winter Lager, Yuengling Black and Tan, Great Lakes Oktoberfest, Great Lakes Conway’s Irish, Shiner Bock, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Sierra Nevada ESB, Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale, Bell’s Pale Ale and….LaBatt’s! Yea, I said it.

What do you like?

The first list of 2009

Ok, so this is cheating a tad. It’s really a list of 2008 movies.

I used to be ‘that guy’; the one who went to see every nominated film. Who searched high and low and drove to the obscure theaters to see the indy or foreign films that had that one performance. Now? Thanks to work and kids, I’m happy to see one a week thanks to Netflix. But occassionally I do sneak out and see a movie here or there.

I am happy to share with you my list of movies I liked in 2008 – not my top ten. Mainly because I didn’t see 10 GOOD movies in 2008. I have a feeling the good movies are on my list of 2008 movies I want to see (Slumdog Millionaire, Doubt, Redemption Road, Reader, The Wrestler).

Side note: it never really bothered me before, since it was my number one goal, but why is it so hard to find the showings for these movies? What rules are in place that all the good movies must be saved for the end of the year and then, when they’re released, must be peppered into small, expensive theaters with one showing? Hmmmm? Would it kill the studios to release these earlier then re-release later? Maybe even put them out on DVD around October so more people could see them. And don’t try to argue studio politics/awards season timing – that two bit logic is no good here at The Burger.

Now, on to my favorites of 08:

1. Dark Knight. I know, I know; I didn’t want to rank them. But I can’t pass it up. This was my favorite film. I know all the arguments (too long, hate Batman’s voice, too many characters) but it’s the total body of work. It’s fantastic. Not enough to crack my top 10 of all time, but still damn good.

Kung-Fu Panda. Not just a kids movie.

Iron Man. Most fun I’ve had at a midnight showing in some time.

Wall-E. Stop crying about no words in the first 30 minutes. It’s good. And the scene with people flying around in their chairs with a computer screen in front of them? Look around. We’re not that far off. Substitute computers for Blackberry’s and we’re there.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I rank this much higher than the other Apatow family film, Pineapple Express. Better story combined with lower expectations made this a good show.

Pineapple Express. Hey, I didn’t say I didn’t like it. And Huey Lewis, king of cinema soundtracks, did original music for the closing credits!

Hancock. How can I not put this here? One of the main characters is a PR guy?

Sex and the City. Yes, yes, yes; I actually liked this? However, I did see it on DVD with no expectations. But I thought it was a good romp; a little overkill with the tiebacks to the series, which, yes, I did watch, but all in all a good show.

For another opinion, click here for Stephen King’s top 10. A different look. And if you’re not reading his columns in EW, you should be!