Your new teacher is Mr. Smith & Wesson

I read this article on  BBC reporting on teachers in Texas allowed to bring guns to school. The Harrold School dsitrict is allowing teachers to bring firearms citing common sense as the reason.

Well, common sense says that some students might try to take a teacher’s gun. And I don’t know about you, but there probably only two teachers in my school that could operate a gun. So maybe we can rework this a little bit. I think we really need to scare the students into behaving. Beyond the guns, I’d like to propose that schools have teachers wear bullets and gernades around their chest, like Rambo. Oh, I know – we should put electric shock collars around their necks that the teachers can zing when the students are bad. What about bringing knives too? Or is that something reserved for the home economics staff? Do teacher aids and administrative assistants get guns too? Or are they just given mace or stun guns?

This could redefine how teachers are hired. Maybe as part of their interview they can go to the shooting range so the administration can determine if they’re a good enough shot. This is like watering your lawn in the middle of a downpour – let’s put that energy into focusing on what’s really wrong with schools.