I’m still in the holiday spirit so I just don’t have it in me to reply to the Burger fan who defended Wal-Mart in my Christmas post. So, instead, I’ll write about one of the good things that happened during that trip.
As I approached the self-checkout line I saw the new gum ’5′. You know, that awesome looking gum in the black packaging? Thank goodness Wal-Mart doesn’t have a problem with Aspertame or else I would be forced to show ID for that too. I guess that the government, er, I mean Wal-Mart is alright with people killing themselves that way. They’d rather stop us from inhaling the fumes from white out. Speaking of that, and I do digress, how many bottles of white out do you need to buy to get high? And is limited to the bottles or are the pens subject to ID as well?
Anyway, back to the 5 gum. Now, I’ve been meaning to buy this for a while, but I just couldn’t bring myself to spend the extra .30 cents (retails around $1.29). Yes, I know that’s a bit tight of me, but I have to buy for a kid and three animals so I try to pinch pennies where I can.
But hey, it was Christmas and I wanted to get myself a little something so I splurged for that awesome black box. And boy is it ever awesome. The real payoff doesn’t come until you get the box open and see how it’s packed, which is sticks, not little pieces. They are wrapped in the shiny foil color of the flavor you selected (peppermint a.k.a colbalt; spearmint a.k.a rain – this is what I bought; cinammon a.k.a fire) and stacked five high, three across. I’m telling you, this isn’t gum it’s an accessory. You can have an iPhone, bluetooth headset, whatever, but you’ll really set yourself apart at the next party if you whip out that little black box and slip someone a slab of 5.
So go out and buy some. You won’t regret it (and pack ID, just in case).