To kiss or not to kiss

My life is crazy right now, so I apologize for not having a lot of time to write something highly intuitive and impactful (as opposed to my normal posts – Mac-n-Cheese impacts everyone, you know).

However, I do have a few minutes for a quick rant. I’m so fed up with the mass acceptance of social kissing. It’s quickly replacing the handshake in both business and social scenarios. When I see a woman I’ve not seen in a while or is that a friend, I have no problem extending a hug to them. My issue is when they assume I’m going to kiss them on the cheek, lean in and bump their head on the side of mine. It’s quite embarassing and a little awkward for me.

Until now.

I’ve made up my mind that I am not kissing under any circumstance. If that means several bumped heads and bruised temples, than so be it. I’m making no excuses for it nor will I apologize. Don’t assume that the natural move is to lean in for a kiss. I don’t want to kiss. I have no reason to kiss. And quite frankly I don’t really understand why others do it. Does it mean you’re more of a friend? Or you missed them more and you’re just THAT much happier to see them? Are there degrees of greetings now? Do I have to throw some slobber to prove how glad I am to see someone?

And, if I were the guy who didn’t mind kissing as a greeting, I would still be ranting. Here’s why – not all women do it. Let’s say I lean in for a Cousin Eddie kiss as the woman is caught off-guard. Maybe she doesn’t lean in for it resulting in a kiss that’s a little too close for comfort? What then, hmmmmm? We’re right back to a state of awkwardness.

So you see, no matter what the kiss just isn’t a good move. Let’s put it up there with Tyler Perry, the phrase ‘You go girl’ and live strong bracelets and just get rid of it.

Back to work.

You have one day to be thankful – make it count

I took creative writing in college. One of the best exercises we ever did was to write down two simple pleasures we were grateful for. I wrote down Egg McMuffins and drinking milkshakes out of the metal mixing cup. We took everyone’s in the class and made a collaborative poem. It was pretty cool when it was finished and served as a good reminder of why we should take time to be thankful for everything, even the little things.

So, in that spirit, this is a couple days late, but here’s an updated list from me. (My hope is that we can all add at least one thing and I can post our own version of that exercise.) Remember, these are more than the traditional things you’re thankful for; everyone knows how much my family and job mean to me, but this isn’t that kind of poem – so don’t write me and tell me to get my priorities straight.

I’m thankful for:

-Free speech…even in bridge

-C.C. Sabatthia, Eric Wedge and the 2007 Cleveland Indians

-Bron Bron (he gets his own line)

-Jay Z’s American Gangster album

-Peanuts Holiday Classics 3-disc DVD set

-Reality TV (I Love New York!)

-Cinnamon pop tarts (frosted, of course)

-Great Lakes Brewery (tis the season for Christmas Ale)

-Lllllloyd Carr resigning the week Les Miles had to prepare LSU for Ar-kansas

-The power of ‘The Vest’

-My blogroll (check out those sites if you haven’t already)

-The new traffic light – with green arrow – at one of the busiest intersections on my commute

-ESPN’s Mike and Mike in the Morning

-ESPN in general

-A late night bowl of cereal

-Watching Seinfeld DVDs while eating a late night bowl of cereal

-TV shows on DVD (yes, I have the first four volumes of Voltron)

-Twitter!

-My two favorite letters of the alphabet – V & W

-My friend John Booth’s book being available for a FREE download

-Funfetti cake

-Frank Sinatra’s timelessness

-Cartoon Network

-Family Guy’s Star Wars episode

-Star Wars period

-Burger readers (I mean, who else would read this stuff? Thanks!)

Bridge players thankful to be reinstated

So – did you hear the news? I am a liberal! Don’t tell my grandparents. (I come from a long line of conservatives.)

It turns out my view on the four bridge players suspended for displaying their anti-Bush signs at the International competition’s awards ceremony resulted in me being labeled a liberal by a conservative site, The National Center. In the Center’s blog, the author had this take on people defending the suspended players:

A handful of the liberal bloggers who are defending the bridge players (for example, here, here and here) don’t seem to understand what the First Amendment says and means.

What a wonderful country we might have if all the liberals who use their freedom of speech rights read the Constitution carefully and with intelligence once in a while.

Anyone who has ever known me will find that previous paragraph to be highly comical and ironic, considering I was a registered republican up until the 2004 election. I campaigned in my school against Clinton before I could even vote. I religiously watched political debates and national republican conventions before I was even a teenager – I was Alex P. Keaton. I even voted for Pat Buchanan in the 1996 primaries. You don’t get much more republican and conservative than I was. And now, because I am speaking out in support of people practicing free speech, I’m instantly classified into a political interest group. Intriguing that my views on our constitution and personal rights automatically categorize me for those who subscribe to mainstream thinking.

At any rate, I have no problem with this criticism. In fact, it has led to the highest numbers this site has ever seen. And of course I  encourage it because I believe healthy debate is a means to a peaceful end. It seems that the United States Bridge Association feels the same way. The USBA announced yesterday that it has reinstated the players and dropped any penalties against them. I’m so excited to hear this – and on Thanksgiving too.

On  a side note, if you didn’t read the other bloggers labeled as liberals, be sure to check this one out - a very good read.

23andMe: Coming to a Reality Near You

I watched this awesome science fiction movie over the weekend. It was about this genetics company that introduced a home DNA screening service for $999 (think pregnancy test except you’re swabbing your mouth). The benefit to the consumer was they could use the results to reveal long-term health prospects, ancestory and genome break-downs.

Marketers hailed its positive societal impact on reuniting families and sustaining long-term health and better living. Even the world’s largest Inernet search engine company got in on the act, investing multi-millions into the company. But then things got a little sour as the company’s information fell into the wrong hands and people became categorized based on those screenings and ultimately slotted into sub-societies. The movie ended where everyone had become indexed simply by their DNA reducing society to a pre-determined, artless, mindless state run by the companies that created and invested in it.

Oh wait, that wasn’t a movie. It was this article I read on TechCrunch about 23andMe (a real company), their introduction of its genetic screening process and Google’s ($3.9mm) investment in it back in May.

I have no idea where any of this is going. There is so much information out there that I can’t even keep up anymore. But what I do know – and want to remind of – is that we as marketers need to continue to do our due dilligence when it comes to developing technologies and companies to maintain a responsible level of benefit marketing and the messaging that is reaching the public.

What’s Your Favorite Movie?

*Addendum (11.17.07) If you need some help as you compile your list, check out AFI’s Top 100 or The Village Voice’s top 100.

I get tired of telling people that The Godfather is the best movie of all time. They try to disagree with me but there’s just no denying that there is no better film. (And I will gladly dedicate a whole post to why I think this, but it’s Friday and I have some Christmas Ale to drink.)

Beyond Godfather I’m willing to listen, but to get the conversation started, here’s my top 10. This top 10 has remain unchanged for nearly five years. So every once in a while I like to throw it out there to get people thinking of their own top 1o. And let me tell you, it’s so hard to keep it to 10!

1. The Godfather

2. Empire Strikes Back

3. Pulp Fiction

4. Usual Suspects

5.  Swingers

6. Donnie Darko

7. Cool Hand Luke

8. American Graffiti

9. The Graduate

10. Fellowship of the Ring

My criteria for this list is simple – acting/writing/directing all rolled into one; soundtrack/cinematography; and most importnat – how did that movie make you feel and did it influence your life in any way?

The Burger is listening.

Censorship Gone Wild: United States Bridge Federation Edition

From 21st Century Citizen:

“With America at war in Iraq and Afghanistan — should people still be allowed to speak out freely? And at what point does criticism of the Government or of the President cross the line? Is there — or should there be — any line that can be crossed to make Freedom of Speech no longer a guaranteed right?”

I read this post on 21st Century Citizen, a site dedicated to exploring the values of the new 21st Century Citizen. The site is one of my favorites and commonly writes about sustainability and the actions necessary to preserve our planet. In this instance they are raising the question of free speech and the weight citizens place on it. The impedius for this is their reporting of the United States Bridge Federation attempting to punish one of their own teams for speaking out against President Bush after winning an International Bridge Tournament. The team had taken abuse from some of the foreign teams for the actions of the U.S. Government. So, the team acting like more than half of the country feels, held up a makeshif sign at the awards ceremony saying ‘We didn’t vote for Bush’. The USBF, acting swiftly, moved that they be cut off from all competitions - threatening the team’s ability to make a living – for speaking out against the country it represents in International bridge tournaments. (Read that last line again.) 

So, back to that scary paragraph at the beginning – inspired by the censorship of a bridge team. I commend the site for raising the question. It’s not often that you read about the denial of free speech in such pure terms. The scarey part is how it’s phrased is so simple and thought provoking – is there a point where criticism crosses the line? The answer to that? God no. That’s the foundation of free speech – there is no line. No boundaries for speaking your mind. When we start punishing our citizens – and as representatives of our country in an international competition there is no greater portrayal of a citizen – we slide to a level of impending communism seen in countries that we have liberated. Is anyone else terrified of this? If not, you should be. Today it’s the bridge club – what will it be tomorrow?
 

I got my degree at Internet University

We’ve all come across them. The people that think because they saw it on the Web, participated in an on-line seminar or took on-line courses that they are certified or qualified to be an expert on that particular topic. Let me tell you that you’re not. In fact, because that’s your primary exposure to said topic, there’s a good chance you’re not even close to being qualified to discuss the subject at hand. If that was the case, you could trust me to diagnose several health ailments, teach the proper approach to parenting and wire your house for a home alarm system. 

Unfortunately I don’t think this a trend that will be stopping any time soon. People that I’ve had conversations with have said that their companies are actually paying for them to take these courses. And why are the bulk of these incidents marketing based? Would you trust your company’s finances to someone who became certified on-line? Probably not. So why trust your creative vision and branding to it? Sometimes that thinking/training, without the proper time spent on the mechanics of the profession itself can be counterproductive.

Trust me – I watched a Web cast on it.

FEMA is FUBAR

Another banner day for FEMA. Remember those trailers they put everyone in after Hurricane Katrina? Well, turns out they have high levels of formaldehyde – as in an average of twice as high. And in some cases 70 times as high. The people living in them have reported health threats such as bloody noses, rashes, asthma, bronchitis and sinus infections. FEMA has begun moving the 52,000 residences living in the mobile homes. Ironically, at the same time they have continued to distribute the mobile homes, sending 50 to wildfire victims last month, and, get this – 2,000 to Native American tribes.

I’m not sure what I’m missing here, but it would seem to me that the government agency created to handle emergencies should be able to do something as simple as put refugees into shelters that won’t slowly kill them. Then again, if you watch Spike Lee’s ‘When the Levees Broke’  (and if you haven’t, you really should - it might change your life) you’ll see that FEMA had trouble with pretty much any task related to dealing with an emergency.

And I guess it’s not just emergencies they mess up. They also have trouble holding press conferences. Not sure if you saw this, but they faked a press conference during the wildfires, having FEMA employees posed as members of the press corp – then passing it off as an actual press conference to the actual members of the media. I’m serious about this stuff, you know. I’m not making it up. This is our government and the agency it’s put in charge of dealing with emergencies. Awesome.

Speaking of our government, today is Veteran’s Day. Thanks to all of you who have served or who are serving. My best friend Jimmy is in Iraq right now and reading this. Take care of yourself and get home safely, ASAP. OTSS.

What’s funnier than kidnapping?

Recently I’ve had some discussions with readers about what makes a blog successful. The answer is basically the same as how to achieve success in anything – passion. Do what you’re passionate about. In the blog’s case, write what your passionate about. I write about a lot of different things, but I’m going to try and tap into those things that truly drive me to write this in the first place.

One of those things is censorship and free speech. I have said that I’ll defend it no matter what. And that hasn’t changed. But every once in a while something comes along that makes even me cringe a bit. Check out this ad that German magazine Titanic ran last month. It’s a “satire” ad that is supposed to be in the face of the media covering the disappearance of Madeleine McCann. The ad itself has Madeleine-branded household cleaning products that ‘even gets out DNA stains’.

I don’t see how this is achieving anything, especially acting as a slam against the media (since a magazine published it, isn’t it a slam against itself?). I know the magazine isn’t going to censor itself. And it certainly has every right to do whatever it wants in its own magazine. But sometimes you can be too cute. Try too hard to be a cynical, piercing voice of truth and the only thing you become is too noisy. Free speech is just that – free. It’s the results you end up paying for.

It’s Friday. Why not write about beer?

My friend Lstro sent me the link to this awesome Guinness commercial. Thought you might all enjoy. But make sure you grab a beer before watching. After all, it is Friday and I’m sure you did something to deserve it.